


Overqualified Butler

by Roturier



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: A harmless spot of torture isn't enough to call for a restricted rating is it?, Drinking tea out of soup plates with the man from Sotheby's, Gen, It's his favourite subject after all, Sebastian can't seem to shut up, oh dear...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-19 23:11:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4764551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roturier/pseuds/Roturier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Born of idle speculation over whether Hell would have something comparable to PEOPLE magazine, or perhaps GQ, what would it be like and would our favourite demon appear in it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overqualified Butler

**OVERQUALIFIED BUTLER**

_Article was first featured in **Hell’s Bells** , a prominent weekly news, entertainment and demon-interest magazine under the title **‘OVERQUALIFICATION' d** iscussing demonic boredom when locked into lengthy but plain vanilla contracts. This appeared under the subheading “Sebastian Michaelis” on Meeting Contractors’ Demands, Reasonable and Otherwise.’_

 

Really what good is it, if one can build entire manor houses in under an hour, become literally anyone or anything needed, pop the heads off annoying assassins and even stray angels with one claw tied behind one’s back, and even fly if, on securing a good position and a promising soul, all they ever ask of one is to brew a proper cup of tea and bake shortbread fingers? _One **hell** of a shortbread finger_ it goes without saying of course, but still...

Mind you, I will say I was really spoiled for choice last week as to which looming disaster to give my attention to first: the maid who tripped and flung our very last tea set against the display of rare 14th century long quan celadon porcelain in the Green Room, breaking both the entire set and every single one of the most valuable pieces in the collection a mere 4 hours before we were to have an expert over to evaluate it for insurance purposes, or the giant sinkhole our addle-pated and freakishly strong gardener accidentally opened in the middle of the driveway by pulling up a very old Cedar of Lebanon planted at its side, or the blazing chimney fire started by the so-called cook in our kitchens, in the mistaken hope he could slither out of climbing out on the manor roof to remove, then replace the kitchen's chimney pots for the sweeps, by instead, simply blasting flames up the flue, thereby burning off the creosote as well as blowing out the bats and nesting birds with yet another one of his thrice-damned, American-made flame throwers. Sheer expediency moved me to give priority to taking care of the first two matters, which decision eventually led to a massive fire up in the second and third floors, inside the walls and in the garret. 

However, as I was given free rein by my excellent little contractor to punish the cook however I saw fit, I was able to **greatly** reduce my resulting stress and annoyance by suspending by his thumbs for a bit the bone-headed barbarian responsible. Strung him up from one of the burnt-through beams in the roof--most satisfying.

All in all, job well done, Michaelis.

So… sorry but what was that question again?


End file.
